This blog is about what road I'm on and my journey in getting there. Maybe with a little work, I'll end up in paradise.


Christmas 2011

I started the season just fine. I found greens from cutting down a holly for a customer, then we had to cut a balsam fir and a blue spruce down for another customer. It’s nice cutting them down this time of year – not that I like cutting them down, but customers wanted them out – there’s no waste, and there was enough to make a few nice gifts that would make the people I care about smile.

As the season progressed I found myself with the usual depression. I guess I get it every year and this year was no different. I came out of it though and have accepted the fact that it’s going to take a little longer for our economy to get back to a somewhat normal place. I sure hope it’s soon though. The holiday is over now; it’s Christmas evening. So as we start to prepare for the new year and take down the decorations, I’ll look forward to the new spring season. This winter will be a little different though, I’m going to be participating in the master gardener program in our state. I’ve waited a long time to get to this level of gardening so I’m excited.

Merry Christmas to those that celebrate, and for everyone – may your year be full of wishes that come true.



Montreal Canada

Beautiful Montreal, Canada.  During my visit, I walked up to Parc du Mont-Royal; it was well worth the hike.

Connecticut in the Winter


We had a winter storm, unexpected of course, the weatherman said a few inches.  We got about 12 inches.  I took a lot of shots.  This one is not the prettiest, but is my favorite.  I used a flash and caught some of the snow flakes which makes the photo look a little surreal to me, almost drawn in. 

Picture taken in Woodbury, Connecticut, February 16, 2010.

Roses and Valentines Day


Valentines Day is approaching. My feelings are so mixed with the celebration of love during the month of February. I don’t understand why we need it, if we love someone don’t we always show it? I feel like someone is inevitably left out some how and people who are lonely are yet again reminded that they are alone.

I love flowers though, this one was photographed at the New York Botanical Garden in their rose garden.  With Valentines Day around the corner and this beautiful rose to look at, I celebrate the idea that no one should ever feel alone. There is always something that nature will give us to show us how loved we are; a beautiful sunrise, a perfectly blue sky, a smile from a stranger, and even an orange rose.

Happy February!

Hands Free Cell Phones – Another Law?

Now the talk is about outlawing hands free cell phones in the car, what a joke! If you need your mom, you no longer have to dial the phone and call that person that gave you birth; our parents are now the government! I don’t mean to be so direct here, but this is really getting to me. Are we that stupid that we cannot take responsibility for our actions? Can we not use our heads when we’re supposed to? Why in the world should the law dictate our every move? If traffic is heavy, and there’s a possibility of a an accident, then . . . oh for gosh sakes.

If we allow the lawmakers to tell us that we cannot talk in the car on a hands free phone, then the next thing will be that we can no longer drive with our children in the car (in my experience this is a much larger distraction), or maybe even friends should not be allowed to travel with us.  I know, how about we limit how many people we can have in the car, or fiddling with the radio – definitely out. The other day I picked up my coffee cup while driving, it distracted me enough that I swerved to the middle of the road! No more coffee for me!

All criticism aside, could it be that the power steering is so sensitive now that every little move we make while behind the wheel makes our car react? Is it possible that the technology in steering is so good that it might be bad for us?

The law makers need stop trying to control our every move; we have already lost so much of our freedom.  Am I the only one that thinks this is ludicrous?

The Circle of Life

I believe, there is in all of us, a good soul.  In our journey of life we have choices, and each choice brings on consequences.  Sometimes those consequences have life long effects that could intertwine, like roots in the ground, with other peoples lives leaving us either in harmony or tangled up in turmoil. 

Lately, I have been facing the harsh reality of death.  Watching a loved one die is a process I have not had the chance to encounter until recently.  I’m not sure why I have not had this experience before, but I find this journey fascinating.  Please don’t misunderstand me, I feel sad while experiencing this discomfort, but to watch a person who you care for, face their own death, can be a true lesson in life.

I run a food bank where people come because they cannot afford to pay for food.  I have been doing this now for approximately eight years.  I have watched our clients in their time of loss and their time of rebuilding.  I find a similarity to these clients and to the people who have passed away over the last few years.

There seems to be steps we take when facing something as tragic as death.  Some people take each step like they were carrying the heaviest of loads on their shoulders.  One step can be so difficult it may take days or weeks, if they have that long.  I have learned that letting go of our human side is difficult for many us.  There are however, some people that learn to drop those heavy loads quickly and move forward with ease, and when they are ready to let go, the final part of the journey seems somewhat easier.

I don’t know if there is another place for us after life, but I hope that when it is my time to die, I can look back and feel at peace with the choices that I’ve made.   Death is not a choice, we do however, like in all parts of living, have a choice of how to accept the journey.  

Until next time: I am sad for my father and his wife.  He  passed away January 16, 2008, she passed away May 9, 2008.  I hope they have found happiness together.



The World has gone Mad and I’m Crazy – Well Maybe I’m not

Balance – there’s that word again.  Every time I think I have it, something happens to remind me that it won’t be here for long.  A friend said that I’m obsessing over Rev. Jeremiah Wright.  Maybe I am, but I really want to understand this guy.  Why?  Who knows. 

I printed out his speeches last night, one from the NAACP and the other was the one he gave at the National Press Club.  I saw the interview on the Bill Moyers show Friday, April 25th.  To top everything off, thanks to YouTube I was able to follow along on the written speech from the National Press Club and see it at the same time.    Am I obsessing? 

I haven’t seen a lot of the press releases on how inflammatory Rev. Wright is, but I got the gist that many think this guy is crazy and Obama needs to distance himself from the reverend.  So Obama did exactly that by saying Rev. Wright’s speeches are not what Obama is about.

Here’s how I interpret Rev. Wright.  I see the reverend as loving his congregation, wanting our society to change, for the white folks — I’m generalizing here and he may very well mean everyone, but I think he has focused on the whites and their ancestors — to openly admit all the bad things our ancestors did, and to accept each other’s differences.  I think Rev. Wright sees our society as ready to move forward.  Truly seeing and accepting the truth will bring a better and healthier society. 

He states that the black church is practicing the principle of “different does not mean deficient.”  Let’s think about that for a minute.  Imagine that you have been abused and suppressed as a child for years.  Your own parents and everyone around you has ingrained in you that you are “different,”  a person of a lower class, your life is valued as unimportant.  Now you’re an adult, and they’re telling you that they shouldn’t have said that to you.  They don’t apologize for what they did but they tell you to stop feeling that way, and even though you feel badly, they say “get over it.”  Do you think your life is going to change?  I believe not.  I think you’ll continue to feel the way you were taught to feel, unless, someone who truly cares about you tells you over and over and over again that “different does not mean deficient.”   When you finally start to believe that you are worthy, that you are a precious child of the world, and you can be proud of your ancestry, what emotions do you think you’ll be feeling?  I think I’d get angry at the fact that these people suppressed and treated me so horribly and now aren’t sorry for it.  It takes a big person to be able to put the anger aside and live a peaceful forgiving life from that point.  Meanwhile, serious consequences like mental illness, hate, family dysfunction, and who knows what else has transpired after years of this kind of cruelty.    

I believe Rev. Wright has good intentions.  I believe he’s angry because most of the people he talks to are not listening, they are taking little bits and pieces, “soundbites,” of his passion and misinterpreting what his message is — hence inflammatory statements.

I once had a professor that said his goal was to change our paradigm.  He felt it was important for us to see the world as it truly is and not in the little safe place that we were brought up in.  He did this loudly and with a lot of passion.  When we got angry, it was then that we were able to climb out of our comfortable little box to understand what he was talking about.  This professor was a priest that changed my paradigm forever.  I will be forever grateful!

The next question is why the heck is Rev. Wright picking now to do all this.  Is his goal to ruin Barack Obama’s chances of becoming president?  I think not.  I think Rev. Wright is doing it now because he can.  I believe he feels his message has nothing to do with politics.  I also think he feels or is beginning to realize that we are not ready for this change in our society.  I think we will find him saddened after all is said and done.



So wordpress has changed it’s image.  That means that I have to learn this again.  I’m looking forward to it actually.  Maybe it’ll be a little better.  Some people hate change; my sister is one of them.  She loves to put her life in order and then wants nothing to rock her comfort.  I guess we can all say that.  I used to hate change, I wanted my life comfortable all the time, but then the more I wanted it to stay the same, the more it moved and changed on me.  Now that I’m more comfortable with who I am and where I’m going, I realize change is good, and well, why fight it right?  Let me correct the statement of “where I’m going”, I’m not real comfortable with where I’m going, I’m just okay with where ever my life takes me.  I’m not a push over though, and I believe that we shape our destiny, as a good friend said to me today, I guess I’m just comfortable knowing that I’ll do what ever it takes to get myself out of something where I don’t want to be.  That was a mouth full wasn’t it? 

So WordPress’s change is okay, I need to take the time to learn this stuff though.  Perhaps this summer when things slow down a little for me.



I’m not sleeping well.  I’m waking up in the middle of the night around 3:00 a.m. and can’t go back to sleep for at least a few hours.  This is new to me.  One thing that my early life gifted me with was the gift to sleep under pressure.  I’m not kidding, the more my life is in turmoil, the better I’ve slept.  Not anymore.  Maybe it’s my age, maybe I’m healthier now and sleeping under pressure is something I had to trade in for the normalcy of my life.

In  any event. I’m tired, a lot, but I’m okay, I’ll rest sooner or later.  I think I’ll get so tired that I’ll probably give it all up and my tiredness will finally win and I’ll sleep for days.  I just wish it would hurry up.

Other’s People Business

Why are we so infatuated with other people’s sex lives?  How about we concentrate on our own.